Comments on: CAMBODIAN MARRIAGE, THE DARK SIDE

By: Hayden Vanderstelt

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By: cheating girlfriend quotes

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By: Phaul

Phaul — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 11:45:56 +0000

Im in love with this khmer girl and i can feel that she is too (i havent had the guts to ask her yet but i will cuz its eating me inside) but she is in a arraged marriage with some dude from Cambodia.

The thing is that she is not really happy with him and his family and they treat her badly.

Now if i were to get married with her , do i have a chance to get her a divorce?

Ive never felt the same for a girl in my life.

I know it must depend on her if she wants to divorce or if she can or if she is allowed.

Living the rest of your life with someone u dont like or love is a living hell for me , i couldnt…

By: Kelly Cheng

Kelly Cheng — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 08:42:48 +0000

Actually myself personally had several experiences of arranged marriage, but when came to the final decision i still caught a chance to get rid of it, and started challenge life by conscious mind, since the last arrange marriage was rejected in end of 2007. Well in the previous images to raised up a reason to rejected the arrange marriage is “I’m still not ready for it mom/dad!!!.” but what behind the scens is i was being in a relationship, and nothing can hide from my parents (they know their kids very well), and til now i still being single and life is not bad, confident, independent, with a good job, good life also, but one negative is i don have even a boyfriend for more than a year ready. and sometime think of an option for arranged marriage. what i’m trying to say are the good and bad about arrange marriage. As a Cambodian, I’m sure you guy are quite familiar Khmer society that, why arranged marriage come to you? and why your parents prefer you an arranged marriage? Possibly in their mind to get you a husband/wife which based on their classification people by 1, family background, 2.personal backgroud of education and career, maybe his age, + their experience = a high % reliable person. Cheer!!! (that’s why can’t blame the whole thing to them), as an experient person, i would like to advise if you find yourself is unaceptable with the arranged marriage, kindly work hard and prove your parents with a sense challenges, thereafter the chances of blaming yourself or the other is minimize.

By: Sokhen

Sokhen — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 07:28:01 +0000

Nobody is putting shackles on the guy, hes an american now and an adult.

The people in Cambodia is not forced as much these days. I don’t see arranged marriage too much as a concern. Why is that, because a male in Cambodian society at 18-20 (the boyfriend) ish usually can not support a family and is not mature enough. While a women unfortunaltely has to marry earlier because otherwise she will not have suitors as she gets older, once a women has her reputation tainted she really cant get married either, theres less chance if she gets married, her parents don’t have to worry about her running away with the guy or getting raped by someone (punishment is lax) or somehow shaming there family.

Not that i wholeheartly believe in these practices, but its just reality in Cambodia, Cambodia is not ready for extreme social change, not unless the financial situation improves in Cambodian, its a tradition century old.

By: borin

borin — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 16:40:18 +0000

I am sorry to hear that Maryann. It is hard to believe that even in the US this still exist, although it’s about a Cambodian family.

The family should have accepted the US way of life when they move there. Although Cambodian culture can be beautiful. But arrange marriage, thesedays, mostly it hurts.

By: Maryann

Maryann — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 15:31:22 +0000

I still have a difficult time grasping the idea of arrange marriages. I’m a 41 yo single American woman who fell in love with a Cambodian man who came to America when he was 18 to make a life for himself and his family (who were still living in Cambodia at the time). He is my same age. We worked for the same company together and dated for about a year. We had many common interests, got along wonderfully and fell in, what I thought, was love. He owned the home where he lived with his father, uncle, sister, and 1 cousin. His family could not and would not accept the fact that their son was dating an American and wanted him to honor the tradition of arranging a marriage for him. His uncle visited Cambodia and came back to the states with the news of finding a wife for both my boyfriend and his cousin. Yes…this is a true story….yes….I was very heartbroken. My love didn’t have the courage to stand up to his family and our relationship was over just like that. I felt betrayed…saddened. He married a woman he did not even know. I will always love him unconditionally even though till this day it still hurts.

By: Izzy

Izzy — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 07:34:28 +0000

I totally disagree with the whole arranged marriage thing. I’m Cambodian as well but I guess you can say that I don’t believe in my traditions that much. I feel like this should be a back in the day kind of thing; this shouldn’t be going on now. People should have the right to choose who they want to marry. Marriage is not a joke, this is a lifelong commitment we’re talking about. I know that some arranged marriages, most women aren’t happy. They either are doing this because her family is poor, she has no where else to go, or she doesn’t want to bring shame to her family. But, I heard that even when some girls come to America, once they get their paperwork and they know what’s going on here, they bounce and find another man, or just start to live their life. I feel like I would want to get to know the person very well before I say I do.

By: Coolc

Coolc — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 23:46:22 +0000

I am a guy educated in Australia and now live in Australia. When I was young I used to asked myself why some young women married older men. In ideal world a man would want to married a beautiful wife who is young and rich depend on our wish. For a woman, she would want to marry her price charming and who does not want that regardless of your religion or race.

In reality, you will not have your way, this is where marriage is as what we see which is influence by lots of circumstances. Younger woman who want to marry for love to her boyfriend, agreed by both parents and run away if not agreed by one side. Young women married older men for wealth(eg Rubert Murdoch and his current wife), she could be from poor or uneducated family or from reasonable educated and wealth and the list go on.

All I am saying as long as both side are happy then it should be fine.

By: kenzie

kenzie — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 14:52:26 +0000

I disagree with everything…i don’t think teenage should be getting married at such a young age, especially to an old dude! that is just wrong!! imagine yurself getting married when yu were 14 to a man who was 40, and yu were to make love with him…it is their culture…and they do what they want, but to have a teenage gurl get married at such a young age to a WAY older dude…is just disgusting! even if i lived in cambodia..i still wouldn’t want to be seen with an older dude…he could basically be my father! maybe even my grandpa…>:/
im sorry if i am being rude…but it is just my opinion…and well…some people think this is right, but to me…i think this is wrong..yur ruining a childs life…she should be able to live a teenage life…